Category: Featured Stories
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Boeing Delays NASA Astronauts’ Return to Earth Again as Time Running Out
The optics are terrible even if Boeing manages to bring them back.
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Toxic Penis-Shrinking Chemicals Accumulate in Testicles and Harm Health of Offspring
These chemicals are terrible, but at least they’re not melting people alive like the cow farts are.
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Florida: Lot Full of New Cybertrucks Spray Painted with “Fuck Elon” Because People Hate His Stupid Fat Face
People hate his fat face.
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Watch: Blacks Brawl During NJ High School Graduation
Slavery works in mysterious ways.
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UK: Museum Posthumously Declares Brontë Sisters “Genderqueer” Because of Their Pen Names
They’ll be calling them the Brontë brothers within 10 years.
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Pelosi and Other Politicians Visit Satanic Cult Leader and Fugitive Dalai Lama in Order to Anger the Chinese
Someone should ask Pelosi if she supports reinstating slavery in Tibet.
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Trump’s Cuckold SCOTUS Upholds Fednigger Ban Preventing “Domestic Abusers” from Possessing Guns
By federal law, a woman can have you stripped of your weapons by telling a court you were mean to them.
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China Tells EU They Might be Facing a Trade War Over US-Backed EV Tariffs
Europe would be much better off collaborating with China.
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US “Incredibly Concerned” Over Putin Saying He May Provide Weapons to North Korea
Maybe the US should incredibly shut the fuck up and stop being gay?
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Late. Shitty. Whatever.
I do my best. This is the second warning that I’m thinking of taking a rest day.
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Strange: Armenia Officially Recognizes State of Palestine
What’s the game here?
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Canada: Another Scientist Says Government Shut Down Investigation on Mystery Brain Illness
Looks like the government is trying to avoid a massive lawsuit.
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Putin Visits Vietnam, Continues to Gather His Forces Against the Army of Darkness
It’s like Lord of the Rings. It’s also like 2Pac.
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Vatican Putting Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano on Trial for Denying the Legitimacy of the “Anal Pope”
He’s not the Pope.
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Bibi Goes Ape After IDF Spokesman Says Hamas Cannot be Defeated
Hamas is Solid Snake. What are you going to do to Solid Snake?