Category: Featured Stories
-

Gorilla Chieftain Lloyd Austin Swears Allegiance to Israel After Arabian Soccer Field Massacre
Israel has been saying this whole time they were going to invade Lebanon.
-

UK: Female Prison Guard Threatened with Life in Prison for Sex with Inmate
Who cares? What did you think was going to happen?
-

Democrats Switch from Calling Trump a Fascist to Calling Him “Weird”
Obviously, switching from “Hitler” to “just sorta weird” is a pretty big shift, but so was switching from Biden to Kamala.
-

Olympic Camera Operators Told to Not Take Ass Pics of Dirty Sluts
This was the only reason people watched women’s sports.
-

UK Cancels Decision to Cut Arms to Israel After Jews Begin Bombing Lebanon
Shock is felt by all.
-

OnlyFans Whores Use AI Bot “Chatters” to Extract Money from Men
Porn is going to ban itself.
-

Memes Today! These Memes are Terrible, But They’re Memes!
This is what we’ve got. It is what it is.
-

Same Spooks Who Said in 2016 Russia was Hacking for Trump Now Say Iran Hacking Against Him
A lot of people support Trump because his ear was scratched.
-

UK, Germany, France, And America Urge Citizens to Leave Lebanon
It’s not going to end well for Israel.
-

US Allegedly Trying to Stop Jews from Bombing Beirut
The Trump team has made it very clear: they want to help Jews bomb everyone.
-

UK: 17-Year-Old Arrested for Stabbing Up Taylor Swift-Themed Yoga Class for Children, Two Dead
Don’t worry, the cops are saying it’s not terrorism.
-

France: Government Defends Democracy by Stripping TV Channel It Doesn’t Like of Its License
The channel will still exist, but it’s gonna be watched by fewer people.
-

Orban Says Asia Taking Over, EU Imploding, Endorses Trump
Trump is going to save us from an Asian world order by… fighting endless expensive wars in the Middle East?
-

Erdogan Says Turkey May “Enter” Israel Like They Entered Karabakh, Libya
Well, this is the biggest story of the day, by a lot.
-

Bitcoin Conference: Trump and RFK Both Take Strong Pro-Coiner Positions
I don’t care about elections, but I do care about coins.